The Ghosts of Romance
by AllLeyton
Summary: ONESHOT Takes place almost immediately after "I hate you." The universe thinks Lucas needs some help finding his heart. Twist on Dickens A Christmas Carol.


Summary: ONESHOT Takes place almost immediately after "I hate you." The universe thinks Lucas needs some help finding his heart. Twist on Dickens A Christmas Carol.

AN: I know One Last Time isn't finished but this was one of those stories that begged to be written. How did Lucas go from fighting for Lindsey one minute to asking Peyton to go to Vegas and marry him the next? Maybe he got a little taste of Dickens. R & R.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not OTH, not Dickens A Christmas Carol. I borrowed dialogue from the show because their words are beautiful. Just the twist is mine.

**The Ghosts of Romance**

_A Ghost of Warning_

"Peyton," Lucas said his voice slurred from the amount of alcohol he'd consumed.

"Mmm," she replied turning back to him, her hand just starting to open the door.

"I hate you."

"What?" Peyton asked shocked at his words, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"I wish you'd never come back, you ruined my life," he turned his head away so he was facing away from her.

Peyton, with her heart broken, walked out of his bedroom into a life she was now sure, she would have to live without Lucas as a part of it.

Lucas remained in his bed, passed out and drunker than he'd ever been in his entire life.

"Lucas," a familiar, yet almost forgotten, voice called to him.

"Go way," he muttered drunkenly.

"Come on Luke, wake up, I don't have all night to do this!"

Lucas opened one eye and looked in the direction the voice was coming from. He sat up surprised by his visitor.

"Jimmy?" he questioned, seeing his friend who had committed suicide when they were still in high school.

Jimmy grinned at him, "Yeah, Luke it's me."

"What are you doing here, man? Aren't you dead?" Lucas asked trying to shake the cobwebs out of his muddled brain.

Jimmy took a seat on the edge of the bed and nodded his head, "Yeah I'm dead but it seems that your meeting with Keith in senior year, didn't stick. And I volunteered to come and tell you about your opportunity to set things right. You've become very selfish in love and you've forgotten what it's all about, my friend."

"I'm not selfish in love," he shouted. "Peyton said no and Lindsey left me at the alter. How does that make me selfish?"

Jimmy shook his head as he listened to the man his young friend had become, "Awww! Poor Lucas. That's exactly why your getting this chance. Its not all about you, man," the entity of Jimmy Edwards shook his head in disappointment. The powers that be have decided that, like Ebenezer Scrooge in Dickens' _A Christmas Carole_, you are in serious need of a kick in the ass. You keep choosing wrong in love and keep blaming a certain blonde woman for those bad choices. You need some help in making the right choices and see the error of your ways."

"I can make my own choices about love, Jim but thanks anyway," Lucas said flopping back down on his bed and covering his head with the pillow.

Jimmy chuckled, "I can see that. Just look at you, man; I never thought I'd see the day that Lucas Scott would be drunk and wallowing in self pity over a girl that isn't a curly headed blonde." He winked, "If you don't get your act together, she's going to find someone to replace you and you're going to end up like me, desperate for a way to stop the pain in your heart or with a woman that you'll make miserable by pining for the one you love."

"I just…" Lucas began trying to create a coherent statement in his own defense. Considering the number of shots he'd consumed, he was finding this to be a very difficult task indeed.

"It's going to be okay, Luke, I promise. You'll be getting some visitors tonight. Go with them, let them show you the way, just like in the story it will help show you the way. Trust them and they'll show you your heart and who it is that's holding it."

"She has my heart…" he said tearfully.

"I know she does but do you know who she is?"

Lucas shrugged his shoulders.

"Its time for you to remember which woman truly holds your heart and what you've done so that you no longer have her. Making one wrong choice has set your life spiraling out of your control and in the wrong direction. You've come mighty close to living a very dark life, Luke. Let your guides show you the way to happiness."

"Jim! Jim!" he called out in his drunken haze, "I really have to quit drinking. Great now I'm seeing my dead friends," he slurred as he fell back on his pillow and drifted into a fitful sleep.

_The Ghost of Romance Past_

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Lucas sat up and reached for his alarm clock. He was both shocked and surprised by the look of the room around him, beige walls, a single bed, dolphin lamp, a small desk, and toys still on his shelf. He smiled as he looked around.

Lucas climbed out of his childhood bed when he heard the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen. Smiling brightly, he assumed his mom had come to check up on him considering the dark place he'd been living in this past little while. The changes not alerting him to the time change, he opened a drawer in the dresser and pulled out his Keith Scott Auto Shop hoodie and black sweats, and dressed quickly.

He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Luke," Keith said happily.

"Keith?" Lucas said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I was granted the privilege of being The Ghost of Romance Past because apparently when I came to see you after your heart attack in high school, you weren't paying close enough attention. Apparently I've got to show you where your heart is again. You've managed to lose sight of the really important things in life so I've been given a second chance to help you find your way."

"The only thing I need is for someone to undo time so I can fix this mess."

Keith nodded in agreement, "It would be nice if it worked that way but you can't turn back time not even after you die but I am here to help you fix the things you screwed up."

"You always were the best at helping me find my way so I'm trusting you to lead the way to the answers Dad, because I sure as hell don't know what the right ones are anymore," he sighed remembering that by this time in his life, had Keith lived, the man would have been his father.

Keith grinned happily at his new moniker in this man's life, "Do you remember being sixteen, Luke? You'd had a crush on a girl who was all curly hair and venom. You'd talked about that same girl for five years by the time you got up the nerve to call her," Keith couldn't hide the grin these memories caused to appear on his face. "Then I got that call for a tow and there she was waiting for you at the curve on River Road."

Lucas smirked, "Peyton," he said his voice just above a whisper. He watched as the kitchen faded and that exact curve on River Road appeared in front of him. A younger frustrated Peyton was getting out of the car and steam was pouring out from under the hood.

"Yeah, Peyton," Keith agreed.

They watched as the scene unfolded before them. Lucas could still feel how nervous he'd been to talk to the beautiful curly headed blonde. "I was so scared just thinking about talking to her," he said aloud. "She was so beautiful and closed off. I just wanted to be the one to, you know, help her find her way. This," he motioned toward the blondes in front of them, "was the beginning of a beautiful relationship." He paused and listened to the conversation taking place between the teenage versions of himself and Peyton.

"Come on. Let me give you a ride," the boy had offered.

The beautiful bitchy girl rolled her eyes at him.

"I'll let you insult me," he told her stuffing his hands in his pockets.

She stood up and walked toward him, Peyton bit out sarcastically, "First of all you don't know me. Second of all," she shook her head, and put her arms out at her sides, "you don't know me."

Lucas laughed and leaned against the back of her vintage Comet.

"God why are guys such jerks," she growled as she placed her books on her head.

"Guys or Nathan?" Luke asked.

"Him. You." she replied sarcastically, looking toward him.

Present time Lucas sighed, "She was so beautiful back then."

"She still is," Keith told him. "But she broke your heart a couple of weeks after this didn't she?"

"It wasn't really her fault," he blushed, "I came on way too strong the night of that Ravens' party, Dan threw. I'd wanted to be with her for so long, I just needed her to know how I felt and I kind of confessed my deep feelings for her. It freaked her out, to say the least, but I was so afraid I'd never get another chance to tell her, I just had to let it out."

Keith said awkwardly, "That wasn't how you felt about it at the time though was it? You were more concerned about how she had hurt you than you were about how you may have come on too strong."

Lucas grinned sheepishly, "Peyton had told me what was happening between us that night wasn't supposed to mean anything. She asked why I couldn't just leave it alone. I thought she was rejecting me. I was so hurt I decided to hook up with Brooke instead when she put out the offer a few days later."

"Peyton came to you see you before you and Brooke got together though didn't she?"

The curve on River Road faded and his teenage bedroom came back into focus, the two men stood off in a corner as a new scene played out for them. It was Peyton's confession of her desire to be with him. He'd chosen to be with Brooke. Peyton had come to him vulnerable, something completely out of character for her and he'd thrown it back in her face.

"Lucas, I made a mistake." Peyton said nervously. "When you said you wanted to be with me I got, I got scared and I pushed you away but…"

"Peyton," he'd tried to interrupt her. She'd waved him off not wanting him to stop her fearing she wouldn't be able to finish what she'd come to say.

"But the truth is I want all the same things that you want, I do and I want them with you."

"Brooke walked into my room before I was able to say anything to Peyton's speech, wearing nothing but a grey hoodie. I could see the tears in Peyton's eyes, she had her hand on the doorknob and looked back at me questioningly, hurt and disbelief burning bright in her eyes like I had somehow deceived her. She may have been angry that Brooke was with me," he explained. "I talked to her the next day and she told me she was happy for us and that she'd just had a long weird day and that was what caused her to say the things she did."

"And you believed that? Man you really can be stupid can't you. You have no idea what you did to her that night. You had deceived her. You told her you wanted everything with her on Friday and by Wednesday you were having everything with Brooke. You don't know the half of what happened when she left your room that night while you stayed making out with Brooke," Keith told him as his room disappeared and they were suddenly in Peyton's.

"Stupid! Stupid!" Peyton shrieked throwing anything she could reach against the walls. The sound of those things smashing echoing inside the red bedroom. "That's what you get, Peyton, for trusting and believing in anyone! He's just like everyone else, a liar! He said he wanted everything with you but he didn't mean it! He'll never mean it no matter how much you want him to! I couldn't give him what he wanted, the second he asked for it so he moved on to Brooke fucking Davis! The biggest slut in Tree Hill! Your second to Brooke again, Peyton!" she continued to rage tears running unchecked down her face. "He was using you to get to her just like the rest of them. You stupid, foolish idiot! You should never have let him into your heart! Never have listened to his words! You know how this works, Peyton," she continued to yell and berate herself, "if you don't let them into your heart they can't hurt you and now your going to have to deal with the pain alone and its excruciating again, just like when Mom died because I was stupid enough to fall for him the second we locked eyes," she began to really cry then, it sounded like her heart was being ripped from her chest.

Lucas looked at Keith in shock, "I didn't know. I…I…"

Keith raised his hand to stop the search for an explanation, "Protecting yourself was more important than the girl you'd been declaring your love for since you were eleven years old. You didn't even hesitate that night to hook up with Brooke. Do you remember that trip to South Carolina and what almost happened between you and Peyton in that motel room?"

Lucas blushed, "If it hadn't been for the necklace Brooke gave me getting caught in Peyton's hair, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself that day."

Keith shook his head in pride and disbelief, "Stopping was the right thing to do, Luke but saying another girl's name, your girlfriend's to be exact made Peyton feel dirty. It made her feel like a slut to be honest when the reality was you were dating that girl," Keith raised his eyebrow knowingly.

"Not one of my shining moments, I admit but I only meant to stop it because cheating was wrong. I wanted to end things with Brooke before I went there with Peyton."

"On the drive home, she was mentally scolding herself. She called herself some pretty nasty names but when she tried to convince herself by telling you that you'd just gotten carried away and it didn't mean anything, you made her admit that for her it really did mean something. She had more than friendly feelings for you but you'd already planted the seed that caused a beautiful, talented and near chaste girl to feel like a whore. Your feelings, in her mind, were still lies, you were in a very precarious position and you brought up Brooke, rubbing it in her face that you had chosen the brunette. She had been fighting for control over her feelings since you'd made your choice and had almost convinced herself that she could be just friends with you and that although it would be painful to see you with someone else she would still have you in her life."

"I convinced her to sneak around with me behind Brooke's back by telling her that I had been hiding my feeling and that although she was great, Brooke wasn't Peyton."

"If you had truly wanted to be with Peyton, you could have told Brooke that yourself not risked having her catch you. You didn't have to wait for a time when the two of you could tell her together."

Lucas could only bob his head in agreement as they stood in the haze between Peyton's room and what was to come next. Lucas realized that although some of the things his father showed him were memories a lot of them were of Peyton's reactions to things he had done to her both directly and indirectly.

This time it was Peyton entering his hospital room after the car accident in his junior year of high school, it had been Peyton's only visit.

"I just wanted to tell you, I'm not going to be around that much cause with Brooke here, its just kinda weird. You know I'm with you, Lucas and I'll wait forever if I have to."

"I didn't know she felt that way about me," he said softly. "I knew we were going to try and be together but I didn't realize her feelings for me ran so deep. The swirling haze began again and they were on the rooftop of the café,

"I just want to tell him I'm in love with him."

"She was IN love with me then?" he asked surprised as Keith nodded indicating that Peyton had indeed been in love with him.

Then, in an instant, he stood at the end of the path leading up to his front porch. It was the night he and Peyton had decided that life was too short to live it as a bad person and had ended their tryst. The Luke on the step simply watched as Peyton walked away from him doing nothing to stop her. He hadn't told her that he didn't care about anything if he couldn't be with her and that he was in love her because he'd thought she just didn't care enough about him to find a way for them to be together. The Luke at the end of the walkway got to see a totally different Peyton, one that was crushed and crying as she walked away from the boy, he now knew, she was in love with.

"It was that night, Peyton started to slide backwards. She put on a happy face and went through the motions. She convinced herself that she was in love with Jake and you never showed an ounce of jealousy, then Brooke practically forced her into a relationship with Pete Wentz. Both relationships making her feel more worthless."

It had always been so challenging with Peyton and Lucas. They could never just admit how they felt about each other so they continued to cause each other pain. With Brooke it had been so much easier, in the beginning before the jealousy and his hiding his feelings for the blonde.

The scenes began to flash before him quickly but at a steady pace, showing him all the times that he had caused Peyton emotional and physical heartache. The times he'd chosen Brooke over her; telling her it was Brooke he wanted next to him when all his dreams came true; agreeing to a nonexclusive relationship with Brooke rather than giving her up, showing Peyton again what little value she held for him, his having never made any attempt to fight for her or not doing a single thing to be with her and the ultimate mental slap in the face forgiving Brooke for sleeping with Chris Keller.

This Lucas, the one from the present, choked back a sob as he watched a very broken Peyton dealing with her biological mother, Ellie's, death alone, because he'd been focusing selfishly on rekindling his relationship with Brook; accepting Brooke's invitation to the basketball banquet after Peyton had helped him deal with his broken heart after his breakup with her; saying 'oh' when Peyton had again confessed her feelings for him, finally admitting to him that she was IN love with him before the state championship. The secret of her hidden sorrow now revealed to him as every single tear she'd shed, every crack he'd caused in the wall she'd spent so many years building around her heart to protect it from any further onslaught of pain, each heartache Peyton had suffered at his hand because she'd been foolish enough to give her heart to him, never asking for it back no matter what new pain he caused her. She'd continued to love him regardless even when he'd stood looking into her eyes and declared his love for another woman, her best friend, Brooke and nearly taking that relationship from her too.

"I need you to think about the women in your life. Which one of them would sacrifice anything for you, no matter what it cost her asking for nothing in return and knowing what you may still put her through in the future? Which of these women will still be there for you until death do you part, rich or poor, sick or well and in the answer to those questions, lies the one true love of your life, the woman you should be marrying and spending the rest of your life with, she's the one you can't live without."

Lucas turned to the spirit that was his true father in life in all the ways that truly mattered, tears streaming down his face, "It's too damn hard to be with her, Dad. It's just too damn hard. She's the only one that can cause my heart to ache with her absence and break at her hand."

"Who or what has ever led you to believe that life or love was meant to be easy and painless? Anything in life worth having is worth the hard work and pain it takes to achieve it. You spend far too much time focusing on the negative things and so little time thinking about the joy she's also brought into your life. The things you can honestly only share with her and no one else. Your love of music, art, beauty, literature, and sense of family. Those are the things you share only with Peyton because she is the only one that's cared enough to find out those things about you, Luke." Keith told him passionately, "Again my time with you has come to an end but open your heart to all the good memories of your time with her and you'll remember that she holds your heart, just as you still hold hers."

"I don't want you to go," tears springing to his eyes.

Keith smiled remembering that Lucas had said those same words to him the last time he'd shown him the way. "I love you, son. Your mother and sister too. Remind Karen to look for me in the lilies."

"I'll tell them, goodbye Dad," Lucas whispered, waking up suddenly seeing the vision of a woman he'd known for a only a very short time in high school.

_The Ghost of Romance Present_

"Ellie?" Lucas asked in surprise.

"Lucas," Ellie replied stiffly. "I don't suppose I really need to tell you this but I'm The Ghost of Romance Present."

"Why you?" he asked incredulously. "I'm really quite surprised to see you here considering," he told the woman standing before him as he again climbed out of bed knowing full well what was to come.

"To be honest, my offer was to come back here and haunt your sorry ass but when that request was denied, I thought I'd come back here and help you get your head out of your ass instead."

"I'm not sure I understand why you'd want to help me make decisions about my future. I mean your Peyton's mother and I've already chosen Lindsey."

Ellie laughed bitterly, "Yeah about that," she whacked him in the back of the head, "I've been sticking pretty close to Peyton over these past few years, especially after the whole proposal fiasco three years ago," she shivered at the memory.

For Lucas it was one of his most painful memories, it was the night he'd proposed to Peyton when he'd taken her offer of someday and turned it into a flat out no refusing to admit to himself, to her or to anyone else that she hadn't outright rejected him, she'd said someday and her words still echoed in his ears.

"I'm not saying no, I'm saying not now. I do want to marry you someday, Lucas."

Tears slid down his face as he relived the moment, "I didn't even stick around to talk to her about it the next morning. I waited until she was asleep and I left. I was so hurt by what I thought was her dismissal of me, I didn't even say goodbye to her."

"You left her, even though you promised her over and over that you never would, you just up and left," Ellie shook her head in disgust. "She'd just been going through the motions that first year after you disappeared and then you called and invited her to the book signing in L.A and her heart started to beat again. I saw the sparkle return to her eyes and I knew it would all be okay if she just had you and then she's greeted by you making out with your editor."

"I wasn't making out with my editor," he barked at her. "She kissed me."

Nice work jackass and quit splitting hairs. You knew Peyton was coming and you let your editor kiss you knowing Peyton may see it. And when you didn't see her, did you have the decency to give the woman a call and give her the opportunity to explain why she hadn't shown up. No! You just assumed she was blowing you off and did what Lucas Scott does best, you found yourself the first available woman. What is it with you anyway? you hand out second chances readily enough, it's like your one of those rare people who truly believes everyone deserves one. That is except for Peyton Sawyer. I mean you gave Brooke several chances to be with you, even though she didn't deserve it and you weren't even in love with her. Hell, you even gave me a chance after you saw me buying marijuana at the dock's and you didn't even know me but you helped me bring my daughter back into my life but when it comes to Peyton, no second chance is even offered. You instantly blame her for everything and run to whatever warm wet hole you can sink yourself into," she raised an eyebrow daring him to deny it.

Lucas growled in frustration, "What do you want from me, Ellie? Do you want me to admit that I've made some mistakes where Peyton is concerned because I have, okay. I admit it. I fell in love with that crazy girl the first time I set my eyes on her. I was an eleven year old kid with no idea what that kind of love was and I couldn't take my eyes off of her, I knew I needed her in my life, I knew that one day she would be mine but my overwhelming, world rocking, breath stealing feelings for her scare the living hell out of me. It engender a feeling of unworthiness in me."

"Is that right, well, come with me, I have a few things to show you about Peyton and how her love for you affects her." Ellie snapped through some of the painful instances Peyton had been through since his proposal. Lucas had been completely unaware of what she'd experienced when they'd been together but in a relationship a country apart and after he'd left her in that hotel room. He watched as his once beautiful, confident, self-confident, vibrant girl spiraled into a life he could never fathom her living. He saw her taking verbal shit and abuse at work, sexually inappropriate advances and repetitive kicks to her belief in the healing power of the music she spent her nights trying to find. From the visions Ellie shared with him, he learned that when alcohol didn't do the trick she had started coping by either not eating at all, or bingeing and purging. Her already petite frame becoming tinier and more frail with each flashback.

Lucas stood staring at the woman beside him his mouth open in astonishment. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Ellie sighed, "Peyton didn't want you to know and she forbid Brooke, who was the only one she's remained in contact with, to tell you. She didn't feel worthy of better treatment so she accepted it but she was really, really uncomfortable with the sexual innuendo and advances she was receiving at the label so she decided she had to find a way to make them not notice her anymore. She developed not one but two separate eating disorders."

"How could she survive that much self abuse? She was so skinny not much more than a skeleton with skin," he asked his voice betraying how terrified he was for her. "What made her think she deserved to be treated so badly by those idiots?"

"You showed her she didn't deserve better," Ellie shrugged. "I'm not blaming you I'm simply giving you the facts. It was hard to save her, I'll tell you. She crossed to the other side at least five times over the past three years. The last time, it took a considerable amount of convincing to get her to come back. She would have been quite happy to stay with Anna and me but your Dad refused to allow her to take the easy way out. He used her feelings for you to make her fight for her life. He begged her to come back for you, to take care of you because although you were too stubborn for your own good and wouldn't admit it, you needed her. It was the only thing we had left in our arsenal to get her to come back here."

"I still don't get it. Peyton loves to eat. She was never one of those girls that worried about how she looked. Why did she suddenly start starving herself?"

"Food was the only thing left in her life she felt she had any control over," she answered simply as she flashed through some of the more serious instants that had occurred causing Peyton issues. "The staff at the hospital were wonderful and she's come a long, long way but that was before she got back here and you started tearing her down again!" Ellie snarled angrily. She showed him some of the things he'd said and done to Peyton since she'd come home.

"Luke, I've missed you," she whispered longingly.

He'd backed up and held up his hand as if to warn her off, "I have someone. I'm with someone."

"He's not good enough for you." Lucas had told her jealously although he had moved on, he couldn't let her.

"Don't say those things to me, Lucas. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to Lindsey either," she'd retorted.

"Check these ones out, they're my personal favorites," Ellie said sarcastically.

Lucas watched as Peyton kissed him and he'd started to refuse and then pulled her back in kissing her passionately.

"You still love me don't you?"

"I need to go talk to Lindsey."

"Lucas proposed," Lindsey showed Peyton the diamond she knew was meant for her.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that kiss didn't feel exactly like it did three years ago."

"I'm in love with her Peyton."

The mental picture shifted to a very distressed Peyton sitting on her mother's grave, talking to the long since dead woman about Lucas and his choice to marry someone else.

"What do I do now Mom?" she asked watching a single leaf float down past Keith Scott's headstone telling her what she had to do now so that Lucas could be happy. It was what caused her to show up in the school gym and his further rejection of her, telling her in no uncertain terms that his feelings for her were a part of beautiful story but were no longer important in the present. It ended with her bleeding heart in her hand as she told him, "If what you want is for me to let go. I'm going to do it. Be happy Luke," as she kissed his hand and walked out of the room.

One last vision of that night showed Peyton sitting on the pool table inside her office at Red Bedroom Records a drawing in front of her. It was of the beach. A huge heart was in the first frame, full and whole. In the second frame the waves had washed part of the heart away and in the last the heart was gone. The completely broken woman that sat above the drawing caused Lucas for the first time to step forward wanting to take the pain away that he'd caused her. He wanted to protect her, it was his job after all.

Lucas watched what he was refusing to see in the real world as Peyton became more and more miserable, despondent and withdrawn. She was showing him and the rest of the people in Tree Hill what they needed to see from her a brave smiling face as she slipped back into the abyss as she was becoming thinner, everyone too involved in Lucas' wedding to notice their friend's cry for help. "I'm doing this to her?"

Ellie nodded. "Do you not understand that your not just hurting her? You're killing her! Its your desire to punish her for your own shortcomings that's sending Peyton to her mom and me. What happened to the guy that wrote _An Unkindness of Ravens?_ The feelings you wrote about appeared to the readers of the world to be genuine, honest and real," she said quietly. Ellie quoted from the most moving part of Lucas' life, "The realization that we were always meant for each other and any instinct to the contrary had been a denial of the following truth… I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer. What happened to the passion that helped you to finish your book? Where did your love for my daughter go?"

Lucas couldn't find the words to give the woman an honest answer, "I don't know," he whispered.

I have one last set of events to show you and then my time here will be done and I'll leave you to what ever is best for you.

Ellie set off the new events.

Peyton telling him that Lindsey was great and that she liked her. Peyton telling Lindsey she was going to make a beautiful bride as she stood in Brooke's boutique in her wedding dress, Peyton apologizing for her behavior in the library, her letting go so that he could be happy, her going on a date with Chase to his engagement party to help Lucas by letting him think she was moving on too, and finally her supporting him by showing up at his wedding.

The final event was from earlier on this very night, it showed a concerned Peyton helping a very intoxicated Lucas home from Tric, helping him out of his clothes, putting him to bed, and kissing his temple, "I'm so sorry, Luke, I never wanted this for you," she'd whispered and he'd paid her back for her kindness by saying.

"I hate you. I wish you'd never come back. You ruined my life."

Lucas watched for a final time as Peyton, broken and hurting walked out of his bedroom door. "I'm sorry, Peyton. I didn't mean it," he whispered knowing it wouldn't change anything. He turned to say something to Ellie but she had already gone.

Lucas crawled back onto his bed and permitted the images he'd been shown by both Keith and Ellie to run through his mind. By the time he reached the end of his time with Peyton's mother, Lucas was a mess. He began to cry inconsolably as the realization of what he'd done to the beautiful blonde hit home. Sometime later he fell into a guilt filled sleep.

"Lucas!" a familiar nasty voice barks loudly.

He turns over and is greeted by Peyton.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he snaps at her.

Her smile is pierced by venom, "HaHa! You think…You could only wish I was her. She loves you. I'm the other side. The one who believed you were the bastard son of the most arrogant man she's ever met. The one who believes your not nearly good enough for her. I'm the side of Peyton that all but disappeared when you showed up."

"I don't follow."

_The Ghost of Romance Future_

"Let me make it clearer for you, moron. I'm your absolute worst nightmare," she snarled nastily.

Lucas looked at the leather clad dark winged angel with trepidation, but boldly asked, "Why are you here?"

"For some crazy reason, I was chosen to be The Ghost of Romance Future. I'll give you a couple of sneak peeks into your future and then I'll turn you loose. How does that sound?"

"Perfect!"

"Then lets get on with the show," she grinned evilly. "Simply touch my wing and we'll be instantly transferred to your future flick. Understand?"

Lucas nodded his head and reached out and gently touched the dark angel's wing. They were instantly standing inside an office that Lucas knew instantly was Peyton's. The walls were deep blood red, the album covers were attached to the wall, and the logo she'd designed was emblazoned on the wall beside the desk. The only change he could see was the office's location, it was no longer in Tree Hill.

The curly haired, green eyed beauty sat behind the desk, staring into space. Her eyes completely devoid of emotion, he couldn't, for the first time since he'd seen her, tell what was going on inside her mind by looking into her eyes. He could only watch like the rest of the world.

The dark angel simply flipped through aspects of Peyton's life; the signing of what appeared to be future huge musical talents, her taking care of and managing bands with that 'pop' music feel that had always made the blonde's skin crawl, standing back stage at the Grammy's watching as Mia accepted her award for Album of the Year, pulling into the driveway of her mansion on the beach in her obviously revamped '63 Mercury Comet, and rubbing shoulders with some of the biggest names in the industry but there was something missing. Although in all areas of her life she wore a smile on her face it never once met her eyes.

She'd achieved success, bigger than she'd ever imagined possible and yet she didn't appear happy.

"She's a huge success," he whispered to the angel beside him.

She agreed, "Yep, she's the biggest name in music. The only problem is the music doesn't mean anything anymore," she said bitterly.

"Shut up," he replied bewilderment ringing in his tone.

The angels eyes darkened and she motioned to her wing and Lucas applied his gentle touch to the feathers at her back.

Time shifted and they found themselves standing off to the side in a huge music library. The shelves reaching to the ceiling contained music of all kinds; vinyl albums, CD's, 8-tracks, cassettes, and reel to reels. An older Peyton stood at the top of a ladder that moved about the room on a rail. She had taken an album from its place on the shelf and had climbed down moving to her sound system and putting it on. Taking a seat, she listened intently as the first bars of The Cure's Pictures of You began to play. Only moments later, she tore it from the turntable and smashed it against the edge of her desk, splintering it into small shards." Lucas jumped at the sound and in surprise of the blonde's treatment of the record.

"She stood and climbed back up the ladder and grabbed another album. Just as she went to pull the vinyl from its sleeve Lucas realized it was Dashboard Confessional's Hands Down, she again placed it on the turntable, only for it to be smashed against the desk after only a few bars of music. The procedure was repeated with Audioslave Gavin Degraw, Fallout Boy, Jack's Mannequin, and Jimmy Eat World. Over and over again she would pull an album only to smash it after just a few notes, as if she were searching for something. The broken black vinyl piled up at her feet, the meaning of the smashed music lost on him completely. He heard the beginning bars of Jose Gonzalez's, Heartbeats, the song that played over the loud speaker after they'd won the state basketball championship. He'd had a moment of clarity that night just as he was now, Peyton was smashing albums that had any meaning to the two of them. She was searching for the peace the music had always brought them and was unable to find it.

"Why is she alone," he asked the angel.

She grimaced and flicked her wings indicating he needed to touch them again. A much more familiar scene played out in front of him. They stood in Tree Hill Cemetery, not far from Keith's grave.

"Why are we here?" he asked.

She simply motioned him closer so he could see the people standing nearby clearly. His mom and Andy, grown Lily and Jamie, Nathan and Haley, with a few teens he didn't recognize, Skills and Bevin, Mouth and Millie, Junk, Fergie, Brooke and a tall light haired man, Lindsey holding the hand of a little brown haired boy, Chase and Mia, Jake holding the hand of a woman he'd never seen before who was cradling a baby, a very grown up Jenny and a few other people from high school, all older than they were in his reality, maybe ten or fifteen years. He couldn't help but notice the missing face from the crowd. His heart began to beat rapidly in fear.

"Whose funeral is this?" he shouted.

The dark angel lowered her eyes as tears appeared in their green depths. She moved time ahead by just a few minutes and Lucas watched as the small gathering moved away. Their movement revealing a short distance away, his curly haired blonde standing completely alone as if she were among strangers and not with people she'd known for most of her life.

Lucas' legs went weak and he fell to his knees in relief when he realized that the funeral was not Peyton's. It was his own, his being the only other face missing from the crowd.

"Why is she just standing there? Why isn't she following them?"

The harsh dark angel turned to him, a single tear slid down her face, "She no longer belongs here. She's not a part of them any more and hasn't been for a long time. When you married Lindsey she was forced out, as your wife, Lindsey, took Peyton's rightful place among your mutual friends. And now without them, the music or you, she is well and truly alone. She will always be the one left on the outside looking in to what should have been her life."

The now dark fallen broken angel, motioned one last time for Lucas to touch her wing. He reached out tentatively and placed his hand against the soft feathers, a moment later they stood in his bedroom of current time and he looked to her for the guidance she was supposed to give him.

"Can I change this? Can I save her?" he asked her anxiously. When she simply stood there and did not answer his question he started to ramble inside his mind. If he couldn't change these things then why would Jimmy, Keith, Ellie and Peyton's dark angel have come to him. Why would they show him how his choices would affect Peyton if he couldn't stop this future from happening? "I have to save her!" he shouted. "I have to save her. Its my job! I love her! I can't live without her and she can't live without me!" His eyes had been squeezed shut tightly against the pain, he was thrashing about and when he finally opened his eyes again, he was back in his bed clad only in the boxers Peyton had left him in, his chest heaving and his face wet from the tears he could no longer control.

_**Morning Light**_

The early morning rays of light broke through the narrow break in Lucas' bedroom curtains. He had only recently been able to gain control over his breathing and the shuddering of his heart. He rose slowly from his bed and went into the bathroom to shower and calm the last of his frazzled nerves. The hot water beat against his naked body, erasing the last of his fears. When at last the water began to run cold, he climbed out and wrapped a towel low around his waist. He padded slowly across the floor and out of the bathroom, and into the kitchen. He could smell the freshly brewed coffee and his favorite mug was sitting on the counter. "Thanks Keith," he said appreciatively as he poured himself a cup of the dark brew.

He carried the now full cup back down the hall to his bedroom and set it on his dresser as he got dressed in his dark blue jeans and Peyton's favorite plaid button down shirt, climbing into the car he drove to the office of the blonde's record label.

He pushed open the door to her office and walked in seeing her talking on her cell phone, catching only the last of her conversation as she caught sight of him approaching her.

Peyton glanced toward him, "Hey I gotta go, kay, bye." she said taking the phone down away from her ear ending the call and placing it on the drafting table in front of her.

He stopped before he got too close and shook his head slightly, "I don't hate you," he said honestly.

She glanced up at him, the tears already building in her eyes.

He started to walk toward her and he started to speak, "I remember the first time I ever saw you. All skinny arms and tangled mess of hair." A small smile graced both their faces and he took a seat on the edge of the pool table. "It was hard letting you go, Peyton."

The hurt in Peyton's green eyes radiated from them as she looked back at him.

"It was hard losing you and it was hard seeing you again. It's still really hard."

"I know," she replied.

They nod at each other slightly in understanding…


End file.
